A Mommy Project

A week ago today we found out that our 3rd child is once again going to be a boy. When I finally started accepting that I was pregnant I began thinking for sure it was going to be a girl. I originally had always wanted 3 boys, but for some reason this time I was wanting a girl. I can honestly say that I am a boys mom, I am better around boys than girls. I have a father, two brothers, a husband, and two sons, so I'm pretty well oriented when it comes to the male species. With my prior two pregnancies I was sure in my mind and heart that I was having boys, yet this time I was convinced that I was going to have a daughter. I'm not going to lie, the day of the ultrasound was quite disappointing to me. I know, it's horrible to feel like that because you have a living being, a gift from God, growing inside of you and I shouldn't be feeling disappointed about the gender of my baby. But I was, and I felt awful, but I really wanted a girl. I thought it would be nice...

Two thousand eleven has come to an end. It was a good peaceful day, a good way to end the year. Ironically, this year began on a Sabbath day and ended on Sabbath. My sister in law said that the way you begin the year is how your year will be. I began 2011 peaceful, enjoy the restful Sabbath with family. This year however, was anything but peaceful, it was full of trails. I had decided early this week that since it was New Year's Eve on Saturday that we should forgo attending our regular church, but instead sleep in and visit our former church. When we arrived, the church was full beyond capacity, there was nowhere to sit. I stood at the back with the kids and my husband wandered around half inside and outside the church. At one point I was bothered that the church was too small to hold all the attendees comfortably. I headed outside towards my husband and told him that maybe it had not been a good idea to come here. Just then I noticed that my dad and an old family friend g...

After being sucker punched last week I realized that the pieces of the puzzle didn't add up. Once I got over being sad that I was offered a job that was later retracted I began to think about why something like this would happen. I sent a follow up email with a few questions regarding the situation. They immediately contacted me to meet with the head of the department. I guess you could say I'm a glutton for punishment. Why would I go back to a company that made such a bad first impression? Honestly, I didn't want to, but this was my thought, I can go and possibly get the job, which I need, or I don't get it, in which case I have nothing to lose being that I never had the job to begin with. My friends had been telling me that this job wasn't meant to be and that God had something better for me, so I had that in the back of my mind. On the way to the interview I asked God to show me if this was His will or not. I arrived at the company confident that I was going ...

It has been awhile since I last wrote and believe me there has been a lot going on, but because of all that I haven't had the desire to write. But today, something happened that I need to write about. My day's of being a stay at home mom have to come to an end, at least for a short while. So for the last 4-5 months I've been looking for a job. I've applied at your basic part time job locations like stores, banks, and theme parks. Just something that I can get to help pay off debt. I recently began applying for full time office positions, but nothing came of that either. I began to contact my "connections", really just family and friends that might be able to help. So, my sister in law sent my resume to her human resources manager and I got a call. I met for a first interview for a position in administrative support for sales and it went well. While waiting for an answer on that position, I got another call for a different position, reservation agent. A...

I have been a stay at home mom/house wife for the past 7 years. during this time I haven't felt the need or worry to compete with anyone. Most of my friends are also stay home moms, our roles in life a pretty much the same, we care for our children, husbands, and home. Our commonality actually bonds us together, pushing competition away. So, why am I know finding myself competing now? I'm not competing with my friends, I'm in competition with those I don't know, the "others." I think our roles as moms have lead us to believe that the way we look doesn't matter. I'm a stay at home mom for crying out loud, my job requires me to look "comfortable." I don't have to impress anyone! It recently hit me, I do need to impress someone... my husband. This whole time I'm thinking my husband loves me, he doesn't care if I look don't look my best. Reality is, no he does care how I look. And who are the "others?" The other wom...

It's been a while since I last wrote any blog entries. November has been a really trying month for me, a lot had been going on and writing was the last thing that I though off. Tonight however, as I laid in bed, my thoughts came rushing all at once. I seem to do my best thinking at night when all is calm. Looking back at the things that I have gone through I realise that I could have only gotten through it with God's help. I'm not trying to get all religious here, but the truth is that only through God that I had the strength to go day after day without falling apart. There were many nights where I laid in bed crying asking God when was this all going to end, but then I would find myself asking Him for peace and I was able to sleep and get rest. A pastor once told me that I shouldn't seek God to solve my problems but that I should allow my problems to bring me closer to Him. I realized that I was seeking God to solve my problems so that everything could be okay a...

I t's those little surprises in life that take us for a tailspin. Two weeks ago I found out that we are expecting baby number three. I am unexpectedly expecting. It was a shock, I won't lie. I thought I was done having kids. I was mentally getting ready to go back to work. My oldest is in school and my youngest is starting Kinder this coming year. Now in 8 months I am going back to diaper duty and sleepless nights, I am so not looking forward to that again. I hadn't been feeling to well since the beginning of October and though pregnancy symptoms kept creeping up I didn't think that's what it was, we weren't trying, so I was sure it had to be something else. I thought I was sick, like really sick. Then I decided to take a pregnancy test to rule that out before I proceeded to make a call to the doctor about my illness. Well no call was needed, the stick said PREGNANT, in all caps just like that. I know that a child is a blessing and he or she is coming into o...